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15-Jan-2017 19:07

KB: Do you ever meet without speaking on the phone first?

MB: Sometimes, although hearing someone's voice and their level of comfort chatting on the phone can be a good indication if you'll have anything to talk about once you meet in person. Although it helps if you have things or friends in common to talk about.

Unfortunately for us, when we decide we prefer riding the queer train and hop off at station “Girl-On-Girl,” there is no tour guide to greet us and lead the way (which is particularly sad, seeing as lesbians make for excellent tour guides).

It wasn't so long ago that I was a wide-eyed young gay hungry for the answers to a slew of my pressing questions about lesbian dating. We are taught the rules of the boy-girl dating game at an early age.

We aren't like gay men who shamelessly advertise incessant fabulous gay parties all over the Internet.

(Please, dear god, make me a gay man in my next life).

Recently, I've been getting a lot of private Facebook messages from baby lesbians who are freshly out of the closet and asking me all kinds of questions:“How do I date girls? I will never forget how terrified I was when I first realized I wanted to exclusively swim in the girl pond. I exerted zero effort into attracting boy creatures, but I learned quickly that I didn't really need to.

It can feel wildly intimidating to be a little, vulnerable kitten tossed into a teeming cesspool of seasoned dykes.

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Perhaps you have a lesbian officemate or classmate, or you happen to see one in the bar or coffee shop you always go to. [Read: How to stop obsessing about that one perfect date] #2 Go out of your comfort zone. These days, there are tons of social media sites dedicated to the lesbian community.KB: What are some things to consider when placing an ad? MB: Personally, I look for someone who lives within 10 miles of my location, someone with similar political views, in my age range, and other things that might catch my eye like a similar interest in books or movies. KB: How do you decide who it's safe to give you phone number to?MB: First and foremost: Check your spelling and grammar! MB: I always correspond through email or instant messenger before talking to someone on the phone.Nothing is more of a turn-off than a poorly written ad. Don't go on and on about what you don't want. I can usually get a sense if I want to continue correspondence after an email or two.Avoid clichés- everyone is looking for someone honest and with a good sense of humor! I usually don't give out my phone number until I'm planning to meet someone- so they can let me know if they chicken out or are going to be late.

Perhaps you have a lesbian officemate or classmate, or you happen to see one in the bar or coffee shop you always go to. [Read: How to stop obsessing about that one perfect date] #2 Go out of your comfort zone. These days, there are tons of social media sites dedicated to the lesbian community.

KB: What are some things to consider when placing an ad? MB: Personally, I look for someone who lives within 10 miles of my location, someone with similar political views, in my age range, and other things that might catch my eye like a similar interest in books or movies. KB: How do you decide who it's safe to give you phone number to?

MB: First and foremost: Check your spelling and grammar! MB: I always correspond through email or instant messenger before talking to someone on the phone.

Nothing is more of a turn-off than a poorly written ad. Don't go on and on about what you don't want. I can usually get a sense if I want to continue correspondence after an email or two.

Avoid clichés- everyone is looking for someone honest and with a good sense of humor! I usually don't give out my phone number until I'm planning to meet someone- so they can let me know if they chicken out or are going to be late.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to start dating and begin a relationship.